Educon "News" A Possibily Satirical Look at Education in Texas

Educon news continues our interview with the royal governor of Texas

Educon News: A recent article indicated that the AP Program in Texas is very successful-more so than any other testing program and the state doesn't have to spend $78 million to have someone else develop it. Yet the legislature is stopping the small incentive program that subsidizes the AP exams. Do you think that's a wise thing to do?
RG: Absolutely, we need to not spend money an AP tests. This successful program is contrary to our goal. This helps student go to college and encourages all students to think they can be successful in college. Then a lot of just normal kids go to college and are successful. We don't want that! We only want the select few who can already afford to go to college. We don't want regular students to get any high-minded ideas. They might think to vote intelligently and then where would we be?

Educon News: So, the goal is not to lift everybody up but to keep most people down?
RG:Has that not been clear? We've spent a decade working towards that goal and we're closer than ever now...thank God for the downturn in the economy which gave us the excuse to push our agenda without being too obvious as to what we wanted.

Educon News: So what is your message to AP students specifically?
RG: Don't get such a big head. You just think you can handle college. Leave college to those who can afford it and have the right connections.

Educon News: Moving to a different subject...the state requires four years of all four core subjects-math, science, social studies, and English-which Educon News thinks is a good idea. But that requires more teachers and more books yet the state is not only not funding this but is cutting funding. Isn't that the type of thing that you complain about in regards to the federal government? Does this seem right to you?

RG: Of course. That along with harder and harder tests which we pay tens of millions of dollars to develop will undermine the public schools. Demand more and more and provide less and less. If we can keep this up, we'll demoralize teachers and students, we'll discourage talented young people to go into education, the wealthy will pull their kids out of the public schools and then we can have more private schools for my class of people. What's wrong with that?
Plus, we now are expecting them to do it without up-to- date textbooks. There's no way they can be successful and then we can complain about funding or, more precisely, underfunding public schools and then we can basically shut them down and save all those tax dollars for tax cuts for my friends. Sounds like a good deal to me.